Play that Funky Music White Boy

I know that I wrote earlier about how much I disliked it when my kids were tooting, hoever, I love it when Zach toots, his trumpet anyway! He is so not imporessed that I am putting in a blurb about how wonderful he is, but I simply must shout from the roof tops what a fantastic kid he is! We have a great time together, and he's a good sport about my teasing. My dad hit his head a while back and was having a hard time remembering anything, so I called to talk to him, and all he wanted to talk about was Zach--tis a sad day when your dad likes your kids more than he likes you (ha, ha, ha!) Nah, I'm glad Zach and my dad are good buddies, it's cute, kind of like Fred Flinstone and his side kick trumpet boy.

PMS--Does that stand for Pestering Mean Spouse?

Hey all you ladies out there, do you suffer from PMS? I surely do, those darn hormones wreak havoc on my system every three weeks or so. Do you want a fix all remedy, sure to fix what ails you? Today, and only for today, you can get 2 bottles of Perfect Husband-aid. Pop one of these in his morning beverage of choice and voila! He'll become the mind reader you've always wanted him to be. Not only will he know what you meant, not just what you said, but he'll clean the house, make dinner, pick up the kids from their activities, and he'll ask you to go shopping and relax with a girl's night out. If you act in the next 10 minutes, and the next ten minutes only, you'll get 2 bottles of our specially formulated Perfect Child Liquid Droplets--it's tasteless, odorless, and take less time to start working than the leading parenting self-help book. How does it work you say? Put a small drop in any beverage, wait 10 minutes, and before you know it your little angels will be nearly ready for translation. They are guaranteed to eat their dinner without complaining, and they will even thank you for puttin onion in the spaghetti and will ask for second helpings of their greens. Their beds will be made as they joyfully hop out of bed in the morning, only pleasantries will be exchanged with their siblings. Haven't you always dreamed of the perfect family? Stop dreaming ladies! The answer is here!

I was thinking the other day how much easier my life would be if I could just get everyone to do things the way that I think they should be done, It took me a few minutes of daydreaming before I snapped out of it and realized how selfish I was being. Would I want anyone else to make me do things I didn't want to, or be someone I wasn't comfortable being? Wouldn't it be a bit creepy if our kids walked around happy to do their chores and giddy about sharing their toys with their brothers and sisters? I love my kids and my sweetie just the way they are. I love that they irritate me sometimes, I love that they leave little messes around so I don't forget that they're around. I enjoy slaving away in the kitchen to make such a wonderful aroma that they know for certain their must be something disgusting in it, and therefore refuse to eat it--more for me! I love that I'm not always in the mood--it makes the special times all the more special. Thank goodness for our imperfections and for those who love us despite our quirks.

When Good Friends Go Bad

Yes ladies, the good friend gone bad is none other than myself! Me! Julie! This is my dear sweet little friend Renee. Renee was my only friend when we first moved here to Kentucky. She knew what it was like to move into a new town and not have anyone to talk to. We found over the years that no matter what happened in this crazy little corner of the world, at least we had a friend to help out when we needed it. Renee moved about 10 months ago to bigger and better things--and do you know what I did? Nothing. Yep, that's right, nothing. I feel like a heel, I need a good hard kick in the patooty! So, I've been feeling guilty about being a bad friend, when guess who drives all the way up here to see all her old friends--Renee, and guess who she came to visit, me, the scum on the bottom of the bathtub mat. I felt so bad that I had not done more to help her make her move better and easier. I could use the excuse that I was going insane and was just so busy, but that would be lame. So, I take my stripes, I deserve them. I come forward of my own free will and ask for forgiveness from the little Korean Martha Stewart. I apologize for being a big fat loser and not keeping in touch like I should have, I apologize for being a big lame brain!

It was wonderful to see you! It was like you had never left and we just picked up right where we were when you left.

If anyone wants to know how to remodel your home, Renee is your gal! She is an amazing seamstress and can cook just about anything. She loves Martha Stewart, even through her time as a felon. She is a wonderful mother, and she has the cutest little kids you have ever seen. So, Renee, if you will forgive me, I promise that I will never tell anyone that you went to Wal mart after you left my house tonight. Deal?

Without you....

It's not often in life when you get a friend who wiggles their way into your heart and leaves an imprint that changes you for the better. I am so blessed to have more than my fair share of these wonderful people in my life, but today, I want to tell you a little bit about five of my favorite people! (1) This crazy lady hugging a giant bear is Jen, Jen is my smile when I need one. She always has a "hallooooooo!" for everyone and honk or two to boot. We raised our kids together as neighbors for 6 years, the best 6 years I've had! When Jen is your buddy, you know a knock on the door means you're getting goodies--homemade! She's the scrapbooking queen! Sometimes she gets down on herself for not improving herself (her words, not mine). You see, Jen is a wife, a mother, a gatekeeper, a friend, a wonderful aunt sister etc.... Jen spends her time improving everyone else! She always leaves you better than she found ya. So, thanks Jen, for always being you! I hope you know how much I love ya!

















(2)This next photo is the female version of Hans Christian Anderson. My kids will sit and listen to her tell a story they've already heard 1100 times and not make a peep! She's my conscience, she never says a bad word about anyone! EVER! Not even when they deserve it. Yes, contrary to belief, Julie has been known to gossip a time or two, and my pal Dori, yep, just like Nemo, always finds a way to bring to light the good in everyone, even the most rotten of us. Dori is one of the best mothers I have ever had the privilege to know, if you need parenting advice, cal 1-800-DORI. Dori and I were instant friends, I knew at once that we were kindred spirits, and that we would always have each other! Thanks Dori for being my pal! I love ya!







(3) Do you by Chance, know my brother Chance? If you don't you're missing out on the chance of a lifetime. Ha, Ha, Ha! Okay, I'm done. But seriously, he's the greatest! He calls me on his way home from work, just because he's bored, now ladies, how many guys do you know that call their big sisters when they're bored? Aren't I lucky? Now, Chance has the most lovely wife, pictured in the photo below, and her name is Alyse, now, get this--I was driving down in Eastern Kentucky the other day, and I saw a sign at a dinky little hillbilly car dealership that said "Come on in today and take a Chance on a lease." I about lost it right then and there, I just about had to pull over from the tears gushing out of my eyes. Tears of laughter of course. This guy is just amazing! I am so lucky to have a little brother--I say little because I'm taller than him--poor puny guy--that is so wonderful! I love ya poochie! (That's his nickname)



(4) This lovely lady in blue is none other than my mom. Isn't she lovely? She works harder than any one I know at being a friend, at helping others. She would do anything for anyone, and she always taught us that people are more important than things. She's a school teacher, she's been teacher of the year, she even won the Wal-mart mother of the year award--she didn't get anything--but hey, we're talking about Wal-mart here okay. My brothers and my sister will testify that she's the queen of greatness! She's married to the funniest guy around, and takes his endless tormenting and teasing with a smile. Love ya mom! Thanks for always loving me, and for believing in me!

(5) My Prince Charming! Ah! The Dread Pirate Peterson, the rogue who stole my heart! Let me tell you a little bit about Austin. He doesn't say much, so when he does, he means it, and people listen. He's a big guy, so some people find him intimidating, when in actuality he's the most fun-loving, sweet and silly guy in town. He loves me no matter what I do, and I've been known to be rather rotten at times! I can't begin to tell ya how wonderful he is, words don't do him justice, words don't do any of these fine folk justice. So, I'll end this blog with....If you're happy and you know it, then you're face will surely show it, if you're happy and you know it...go and blog!

"Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?"

Ah! Another day of all the little piggies at home due to the huffing and puffing of the big bad sky. As soon as the piggies reached their haven, the skies cleared and Mr. Sun sang us a springtime jig. I deeply appreciate the fact that the school district has the safety and well being of the little piggies in mind when they send them home early, but cri-min-it-ley trigger! This is ridiculous, school is going to last all summer at this rate, with all the make up days. There is nothing like bad weather to bring a family together, really together! Our last experience with the tornado sirens forced us all into our shelter--our downstairs bathroom. Yup! That's right, 3 children, a mother, a really hyper dog, and a very temper-mental cat squished into a teeny tiny bathroom. Invariably, as soon as we squish in there, one of the children will get the great idea to start up a "Who has the stinkiest toots contest?" I'll tell you right now, it is NOT fun being the judge of this contest, nor would I like to be invited to be a contestant. God bless the architect of our lovely home who left us this alternative for severe weather survival!

Disney Webtoons - The Three Little Pigs in "Who's Afraid of Little Sweet

Disney Webtoons - The Three Little Pigs in "Who's Afraid of Little Sweet

Maxwell Piece Theater Presents....

Do you ever have one of those days when your cat seems to have more intelligence than you do??? I want to take this opportunity to thank my father, really thank him, from the bottom of my heart, for sending us the cutest little doggie you have ever seen. This little doggies name is Winkie, Winkie Marie to be precise. Why mention Winkie? Because this insane puppy is the reason I have lost all reason and sanity!!! She is crazy, she refuses to potty train! We take her outside and she takes care of business, only to run right back inside and continue with her business on the living room floor. My home is her chew toy, and poor Maxwell has no peace. She is a the tiny tyrant of the Peterson household. Why keep her? Well, have your children ever done something so naughty you wanted to scream, that is until they look at you with those sweet little eyes and that cute little smile--honestly--how on earth can you punish them when they look at you like that? Winkie is going to be the beginning of my demise! She is my tornadic shadow, and for any of you that know me very well, messes drive me crazy, therefore, Winkie is driving me crazy! Well, now that I have that tirade out of the way, let me continue with Maxwell's tale of woe...

In the beginning Maxwell was king of the homestead. Maxwell got his choice of laps to sit on, beds to snooze on, and could eat at anytime of the day. Scratch all that! Now, poor Maxwell is a peasant with no rights whatsoever, he's a pauper with no hope for change. Winkie chases him from room to room and bites his tail, if he so much as sets his foot on the floor Wink is on top of him and they roll off in a ball of fury. If Max tried to sit with anyone (anyone except Taylon--Winkie doesn't like Taylon) Wink goes after him. Even meal times has become a nightmare for the poor little guy, Winkie has a bottomless pit for a stomach and gobbles up anything you try to give to Maxwell. Granted, Max has to first sniff his dinner, then take a few licks here and there, then finally he will take tiny little bites. Wink, on the other hand will devour your entire hand before you even set her food in the bowl--she's a monster I tell you! but dang-it! She's so darn cute!

So, today, if you're having a pity party, and you need some comfort, think of poor Maxwell and his tale of woe. Poor kitty!